The last 18 months have been pretty difficult for me.
Admitting that is tough enough in itself.
I’ve had some amazing experiences, such as graduating with a BA in French Studies and also
completing my teacher training, as an Outstanding practitioner. I’ve met some amazing new people- some who I know will be friends for life- and experienced wonderful new things in my daily life.
But there have also been some negatives…
I’ve lost people who I thought would always be in my life.
I’ve made silly mistakes that I’d take back in a heartbeat.
I’ve had health complications that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.
I’ve been working all the hours God sends, trying to achieve this end goal of becoming a fully qualified Primary School Teacher. I have finally achieved that end goal, but not without difficulties and without taking the plunge and getting rid of everything and anything toxic or negative from my life. It’s past the halfway point in the year and I am happy to report that things are looking bright. I thought I’d share a few things that I’ve learnt over the last year and a half, and how these things have shaped me into a more positive and happy person.
I have learnt to say no to things when I don’t want to do them.
In the past, I have been what I’d probably refer to as a people pleaser. I would agree to pretty much anything, if it meant making other people happy. Most of the time, it resulted in everyone being happy but me. If I want to stay at home, binge watching Gilmore Girls and eating salted popcorn over a night out in Liverpool, then quite frankly, that’s my prerogative. No one is going to guilt trip me or make me feel bad about making my own decisions any more.
I have learnt that true friends are there for you always, not when it’s just convenient to them.
Working 55+ hours a week really helps you discover quickly who your real friends are. Your real friends check in on you when they think you’ve been working too hard. Your real friends are there to be a shoulder when you need to rant. Your real friends don’t just speak to you when it suits them. Real friends understand that friendship is a two-way street, and if they’re there for you, you’ll likely be there for them. I know exactly who the people I can trust are now and I’m actually quite thankful for this, even if it meant losing people who I thought were friends along the way. I’m done with always being the one to reach out to people if they’re incapable of returning the favour.
I have learnt that sometimes, you just have to let go.
Sometimes the hardest things to let go of are the things that have the most detrimental effect on your well being. Letting go of someone who meant everything to me at one point was the hardest thing I’ve had to do this year, but it was also the best decision for my health and my happiness. Past me would have hoped to reconcile this friendship at some point, but sometimes letting go entirely is the best thing for all parties. In my case, enough is enough.
I have learnt that laughter is the best medicine.
Over the course of the last six months, I have gone from a miserable, shell of my former self back to the happy, smiling and cheerful person that I used to be. Life is not perfect- it isn’t now, it wasn’t in the past, and I know that it won’t be in the future, but having friends, family and experiences that make me happy
and bring laughter to my life is the key to making everything come together in the end.
Do you know what? I’ve learnt that actually, I’m pretty darn happy in myself.
And that’s absolutely fine by me.